TERRIFYING GOBBLERS

Often it’s been said that the chickens have come home to roost. Lately, it could be argued that the turkeys are getting a piece of that “roosting” sort of action themselves.

Residents in Ocean Breeze, Staten Island say that they’re being “terrorized” by a flock of “aggressive turkeys” that have invaded their neighborhood. The combative birds have been responsible for a multitude of strategic assaults that ranged from blocking traffic to high-altitude dumps (as only a bird can dump) on cars and backyards.

One stalwart woman, while sitting complacently in her car, suddenly came under siege by a foul legion of these malevolent fowls. After a brief pause to assess her direful predicament, she became emboldened and courageously took retaliatory action: she splashed the feathery marauders with window washing fluid.

This latest in a series of turkey-force invasions began ten years ago when a fun-loving neighbor (a former neighbor, I would presume) decided to grant her nine pet turkeys their freedom (then quickly skipped town, I would further presume). The turkeys took their freedom and ran rampant with it; the 9 turkeys becoming 100 turkeys before one could utter “gobble-gobble.”

City Councilman James Odo said many area seniors have told him they are afraid to leave their homes. He said officials balked at a plan he forwarded two years ago to move the turkeys upstate.

“How are people supposed to have faith that their government can deal with problems like terrorism when we can’t even deal with turkeys?” [Of course, there isn’t any easy answer to that question, except for the obvious answer.]

If anything, you have to admit that Ocean Breeze will really be the place to be this coming Thanksgiving Day in America; a spot where there will be turkey all over the place…not to mention leftovers.

Note: Staten Island was the scene for still another ongoing bird attack last August…a wild and crazy place that forgotten island out there.

UPI

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