SAY IT AIN’T SO, DARTH

Who could have guessed that Darth Vader, the famed Conqueror of the Universe, simply minding his own business, would ever come to this: down-and-out in impoverishment’s all-devouring black hole. Cash-strapped to build a “Deth [sic] Star” that he could call “home,” a veteran of many glorious slaughters,  now homeless, now jobless… and, horror of horror, now empire-less. That such a gentleman isn’t even employable on Wall Street is a shock that the Universe will never absorb. Cancel your long-term plans and subscriptions…the End Is Near!

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