FLIPPER-IN AROUND THE SOUND

Large groups of dolphins are currently vacationing in the waters in and around New York City. At least 150 to 200 dolphins were first spotted on Wednesday off the coast of Long Island: in Cold Spring Harbor, Huntington and Northport. Since then, they’ve split into two groups: one group venturing out into Long Island Sound near Bayville while the other group headed to City Island in the Bronx. “Charles Bowman, president of The Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation, said the dolphins are hunting and appeared normal. He said they likely have split into multiple groups to continue looking for herring.” Newsday.com

The Daily Intel suspects that this sudden visit, despite its playful charm, may be concealing a sinister motive and that these dolphins may in fact be up to no good:

These creatures are sophisticated, and we wouldn’t be surprised if this two-pronged strategic maneuver they are implementing to surround New York were part of some larger, complex plan to hunt something else. Like people. We’re not suggesting the city go ahead and gas them or anything. They’re mammals, just like us! But we’re going to have to all keep an eye out for these buggers. Ever been hit in the eye with a squirt from a blowhole? Neither have we, but we’re sure it isn’t pretty.

Of course, they’re only joking…I think.

In addition to the beauty and joy these creatures of the deep bring to sightseers, their presence also speaks favorably for the cleanliness of the metropolitan area’s waters: the millions of dollars spent in taxpayers’ money did, for once, amount to something. Scientists predict that the dolphins could potentially remain in these parts for week, depending on the food supply (sort of like my in-laws) and on their tour package; group rates are the only way to go…at least when you’re going somewhere.

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